I don't get to write in my journal as much as I used to; a toddler, a husband, a career, a non-profit business, and the book that is near completion, take up all my time. My days are beyond full and the nights to recover are far too short but each day, I am pulled to moments out of this life as I feel this baby move, bounce, jump and tumble through my belly reminding me of life's fragility. It pulls me back to the core of my being, the person I now am and the person I have wanted to be my entire life-a mom.
I am a mom to the most perfect children, THREE of them now! My daughter, the girl who made me a mama- she changed me. She changed the trajectory of my life, what I thought would be, who I thought I was, what I was capable of achieving and the passion that now fuels me. My son, the boy who reminded me of the simple joys in life, who makes me laugh, who challenges my very patience, who makes me strive to be the best role model I can muster. My baby, the one in my belly, who has given me renewed hope that good can be returned to us, that we are worthy of a joy-filled life, that although what was taken from us can never be returned, we can still be a family and give our boy a living sibling.
It is not easy to balance all these obligations, these responsibilities, and this overwhelming love that pours through my soul, but I do it, perhaps not gracefully, but I do it eternally gratefully. All I ever wanted was to have a good life, and to create a family, to be a mom.
I am a mom now, to three perfect children who are the reason I strive to be my best and to live my best life. For them. All three of them.
I am a mama of three beautiful babes; two boys I have the honor of raising and my daughter who lived for 33 sacred days.