Here I wait, again. My 4th pregnancy, my 3rd baby and hoping for my 2nd living child. Pregnancy after your baby has died is hard, way harder than I could even articulate in words to anyone else unless of course you have experienced this loss yourself, in which case I don't need to explain because you would just know. Maybe after being in the spotlight and so open about Ruthie Lou's life and death and my obvious public love obsession of Reid, I hold this new baby so close as we wait for baby's birthday. .
I don't want to share this time, but that doesn't mean I am not in love. I still carry all the love, the hopes and dreams as I have every time I knew that life was growing inside me. So, thank you for not asking me a million questions about this pregnancy, my due date, baby's gender or name as I have felt too protective to share. This baby will be arriving soon and then, when I am holding baby safely in my arms, then I will feel ready--I think.
Until then, I do ask that you pray (or whatever you do) that we hold a healthy living baby soon.
Now, we continue to wait...
I am a mama of three beautiful babes; two boys I have the honor of raising and my daughter who lived for 33 sacred days.